Children can be very sensitive, and even a short outburst or a poorly worded sentence can greatly affect a child’s character.  So as parents, we need to do our best to choose our words carefully to help better shape our children’s outlook and attitude toward life.

First of all, encourage children’s good behavior. Children are naturally sensitive, and in many cases when they make mistakes, they actually know it is wrong. Scolding a child in a mean and unproductive way can lead to negative outcomes. 

Instead, we should pay attention to the speed and intonation when we speak.  It is not just what we say, but also how we say it.  We need to be firm, but also properly explain what the child has done wrong and why.  Children need to understand that this is a constructive exercise, not just parents being mean.  We do not want our children shutting down and becoming defensive when we talk with them.  Praising their good efforts is a good way to counter this, and to help build confidence.  It can also help the children to admit when they have done something wrong. 

Next, parents should act as positive role models and set a good example. Some children are timid and afraid to make mistakes.  They will sometimes cover up their mistakes by lying. This is because some students associate making a mistake with being severely punished.  Parents need to understand that not every mistake is a severely punishable offense.

Parents should be tolerant, patient, and understanding of their child’s mistakes.  Mistakes can create learning opportunities with positive outcomes for both child and parent. 

Finally, children are blank slates, and parents can choose to paint them in a negative or positive fashion.  

Parents make this decision by showing friendliness and compassion toward their child or by showing negativity and disapproval.  It is up to us to help create the child that we want to see.

Ruijing Mandy

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