We all know that parenting is an exercising in planning ahead… way way way ahead! How will we pay for college? When will just the two of us be able to sleep together again in our own room? What behavioral habits do we want our kids to have when they become adults? This essay focuses on that third question.
We want our future adult children to be appropriate and comfortable in a range of social settings. That starts now. A great way to teach this skill set is by requiring our kids to be present each evening for dinner and to act appropriately at the dinner table.
Using please and thank you, speaking kindly and helping to serve and to clean up the table are great habits in the here and now. They are also the same habits that will make our adult children great dinner guests and hosts who know how to wow their friends and business partners.
We want our adult children to become loving husbands and wives when it’s their time to start a new family. Every happy spouse can tell you that a successful marriage is grounded in being able to take care of our own things while also being respectful of the people with whom we live.
The habits of a good spouse are learned as children. When a child cleans up her own mess, she’s laying the groundwork for doing the same thing as an adult. When a child learns how to care for a pet, he’s learning how to care for others as an adult.
It’s entirely possible to set a good example does while still clearly enforcing rules. When a child asks to have dessert for breakfast each morning, consistently explaining with kindness and patience why that’s inappropriate teaches not only good eating habits but also proper social skills. It can be incredibly difficult to maintain patience and keep one’s cool but if you can do it, your children will learn how to do it too. How we say something is as important as what we say.
Another time when children learn from us is by watching how we engage with others. If we consistently treat shopkeepers, waiters and other professionals with respect, we establish this model as the norm.
No one wants to raise a spoiled or entitled child. But if our kids see us disrespecting people around us, they absorb the lesson that some people deserve less respect than others. That can lead to two of the worst possible rhetorical questions people ask as adults. “Do you know who I am?” And: “Do you know who my parents are?”
Even when we are treated unfairly by others, we need to maintain our attitude of respect in front of our children so they will do the same down the road.
Being a parent means we are always being watched by our kids, which means we are always teaching them through our example. It can be exhausting to have to do the right thing every time.
No one is perfect but we have an obligation to do our best. The good news is that this enormous investment in time and energy will pay off when your children become adults.
Watching them do the right thing and treating their friends, colleagues and spouses with love and respect will be a reward unlike any other!
1.MONTESSORI Great DIY Materials
2.YOUNG LEARNERS Choosing Great Toys
3.ENGLISH Watch Shows and Learn
6.EDUCATION Making Science Fun
International Sunshine Home is Xiamen’s premier bilingual Montessori school. Our qualified teachers and small class sizes help your child grow up in a safe and happy environment. We welcome you to visit us in person to find out more. Simply reply to our WeChat and send us your name and your child’s name along with your phone number.
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